How Do I Approach Triggers?
A Fearful But Exciting Opportunity
As a patient started to recognise triggers to painful situations in her life, she was both fascinated and fearful about approaching this opportunity to address them.
The opportunity itself can feel overwhelming when, for so long, there’s been no other option other than to live in the fearful unconscious reactions and the resultant pain that behaviour brings.
Attending To Yourself Gently
The question highlights this lady's feeling that she needs permission to attend to something painful in her life gently.
Knowing her story means that this reaction is normal, and being so careful about attending to others first meant survival in her childhood.
You may also recognise triggers in your life which are related to pain. Approach them curiously and only at an intensity which feels ok for you.
Practice Calmness First
It's best if you practice a calming mechanism first, and that’s why it's the foundation of any recovery.
Feel safe with the new behaviours first, as they will become the defaults of your future.
The Patient asked, ‘Can l ask if l can do triggers one at a time so l don’t feel overloaded, please?’
See what you choose to do next as an opportunity to be kind and compassionate to your nervous system, like looking after a small child.
It wouldn't be kind to drag the child back to lots of traumatic memories, but it may be helpful to reflect on feeling some of the emotions gently related to that time.
One by one is good.
Recognise The Triggers
So if you recognise triggers to these emotions, such as weather conditions, clothes, movements, places, names or faces, play with those most comfortable.
It's not a race to win, but more a meander through the feelings that pop up, with no running away from them, but a situation where you feel and experience the emotions of your past and wire them to a calm mechanism in the present moment.
That removes the power from the past and releases the energy to explore our innate skills and talents in a way that allows them to reappear, grow and flourish.
A Safe Place To Start
Breathing slowly is a safe place to start, and you now have some physical movements that have built confidence within you.
Use this platform to explore known triggers when you are ready and have them at hand should you feel sideswiped by any unseen trigger or automatic reaction you may find yourself displaying.
This creates the playground where you feel safe enough and well-equipped to start noticing moments that may have been historically unpleasant whilst being grounded in a safe place from which to explore them.
Gently Being
Gently being, calmly observing and responsibly attending to what comes up are the skills you're improving daily.
Keep going at a pace your conscious and unconscious mind finds acceptable. Get that coherence, and you'll find the process easier and more manageable.
Recovery not only awaits, but it opens up infront of your eyes.
What’s next?
Take Your First Step to Recovery.
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